


Welcome to the Real World

by ArcadeSummers



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Ash Lynx & Eiji Okumura, Brief mention of Past Abuse, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 15:25:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18741787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcadeSummers/pseuds/ArcadeSummers
Summary: Somehow, it was always the same.Darkness that preceded pain that would bring lesser men to their knees, but not him—never him. There were times that if he could only imagine long enough, these feelings could be welcomed as old companions. That is to say, untilhearrived. Ash never found himself reaching for anyone until Eiji and now, even as he lay thrashing against the borrowed time of an apartment bed, his arm lay dormant and outstretched as a flower would seek the sun.The real world offered no such comforts.





	Welcome to the Real World

**Author's Note:**

> Long time no see, everyone!  
> I watched the entire Banana Fish anime over the weekend and thoroughly enjoyed every last second of it. It is a story that I will cherish forever and I hope this little ficlet will do it justice in some regard. I rarely write anymore, so I’m a bit shy about this one, but I hope I managed to keep the boys in character for the most part. I strive to have as much respect for the source material as possible!

Somehow, it was always the same.  
Darkness that preceded pain that would bring lesser men to their knees, but not him—never him. There were times that if he could only imagine long enough, these feelings could be welcomed as old companions. That is to say, until _he_ arrived. Ash never found himself reaching for anyone until Eiji and now, even as he lay thrashing against the borrowed time of an apartment bed, his arm lay dormant and outstretched as a flower would seek the sun.  
The real world offered no such comforts. 

“-Sh!” 

A cry in the distance. He could hardly distinguish concern from malice in the grave where he lie; the grave that they carefully dug for him with their own bare hands. There were many hands that all sought the same: Taking more than he could have ever offered; stolen years of youth and the sparse carefree moments that felt more often like dreams than tangible memories anymore. 

“Ash!”

No, certainly this voice was very alive and very near, and it was pleading. 

“Wake up, Ash, you’re having another nightmare.”

There were hands, but they were smaller and softer; warm in a way that he hadn’t known since the Summer days he’d spent with his brother. They were hands that were unmarred by a life lived defending himself from a world that only wished to do him harm.  
It was in that gesture that Ash thought for the briefest moment that he would do whatever was necessary to keep them that way. 

Ash blinked away the haze of sleep that overtook him in passing waves until the visage of the boy beside him became clear. His eyes were dark, but not unkind, and never had he seen them clouded with such helplessness. Eiji’s palms twitched in his lap, fingers moving reflexively back and forth as if he were unsure of what to do with them. Ash’s breath evened as realization overcame him and allowed himself to lean back against the pillows, comforter bunched haphazardly around his torso. 

“Sorry for waking you. You should head back to sleep; we have an early day tomorrow, you know.”

Eiji’s eyes roamed his body before fixating on Ash’s face: the crease of his brow and the sweat that beaded there; the halo of blonde hair that framed the planes of his face, angular with the coming of age but with edges never quite sharp enough to cut. 

Long moments passed before Eiji finally found his voice. 

“You don’t have to tell me what it is, Ash. I won’t pretend to know what you’re feeling, but you don’t have to pretend that you aren’t feeling it, either.”

It would’ve been lost on anyone else, but the widening of Ash’s eyes a mere fraction told everything to Eiji that he must know. An eternity passed within the span of a moment when he carefully slid his hand across the bed as if not to frighten a skittish animal. Eiji watched Ash’s eyes seek every gesture, even as he tentatively rose a single fingertip to brush Ash’s exposed hand that lay outstretched beside him.  
Ash lay his palm flat against the warm sheet and moved ever so, with a permissible twitch that Eiji recognized in an instant. He continued his careful ministrations until his palm lay atop Ash’s with a gentle squeeze, followed by a slower brush against his forearm until it found purchase on his shoulder. 

Eiji felt as though he should say something to fill the rift between them, but he found there was nothing in his vocabulary to encapsulate an emotion that he’d never felt before. Talking to Ash had never been so difficult, but it had also never been so necessary. He only hoped that his body could say what his words could not. 

“It’s okay, Ash. You know that, right? It’s going to be okay.”

Eiji narrowed his eyes as he scrutinized his own platitudes, but Ash could only stare; his gaze ever widening as Eiji found the courage to continue. 

“But look at me, though. Haven’t I offered anything?” Eiji turned his face from Ash for the first time that night, voice wavering. 

“I’m sorry, Ash. I want to be more useful to you than I’ve been, but all I seem to do is slow you down. Have I done nothing? Haven’t I taught... _you_ anything?”

Eiji’s hand gripped Ash’s shoulder with a sudden tenacity that he realized went unchecked. Eiji gasped at his own indiscretion before pulling away as if stricken, but Ash was quicker—Ash was _always_ quicker. He rose from his position to grab Eiji’s hand in an instant and right himself from the recoil of Eiji’s shock.  
Eiji blanched beneath Ash’s tense gaze as if it had been the most ludicrous thing Ash had ever heard.  
The clenching of Eiji’s jaw was not lost on Ash as he unhanded Eiji’s wrist. Silence swept over the room, save for the ticking of the clock that counted their wasted moments, before Ash placed a steady hand against Eiji’s forearm, then the other, and settled them in the curves where his shoulders met his neck.  
Eiji held his breath as he felt, more than saw, Ash exhale a breath. 

“Eiji, I’m going to tell you something and I’m only going to say it once, so you had better commit it to memory.”

Eiji raised his eyebrows in surprise before sobering his expression and nodding. 

“I understand, Ash.”

Ash averted his gaze, allowing the weight of his realization to manifest into a warmth that settled into the heart of him, before continuing.

“Sometimes I worry that everything I’ve ever learned that’s worth knowing has come from you.”

Eiji inhaled all at once as if he had been struck in the chest and again withdrew beneath the firmness of Ash’s hold, but Ash held tighter with a frown.  
Somehow he was even beautiful in his anger and conviction and that very thought unnerved a part of Eiji’s nameless fixation on this man so unlike himself that sat before him. 

Ash turned from him because looking at Eiji in that moment truly did feel like looking into the sun, and he was blinded by all the things he wished for that were so near and yet so far.  
Eiji’s hands found Ash’s wrists and moved his fingers, tentatively feather-light as before, against the whole of Ash’s arms and pulled him into an embrace that Ash leaned into gratefully, body now moving of its own volition. Ash’s arms lay loosely around Eiji’s neck before he allowed himself the luxury of resting his forehead on his shoulder; thoroughly exhausted by the memories he had been forced to relive.  
Eiji’s warmth seeped through the cotton of his tee shirt, through his fair skin, right down to the marrow of his bones, and Ash couldn’t have possibly been more grateful if he wanted to be.  
Ash felt Eiji sniffle, nose meeting the slope of his neck, before exhaling as if to steady himself.  
Outside of the small universe they’d built for themselves in the stolen hours of a single night, the sun rose again. 

Welcome to the real world.


End file.
